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voyeurhour:

erasure of Asian people and characters is very deep rooted in American media and goes all the way back to conception—don’t let it persist!

(Source: shoorm)

Graphic by Joanne Barrett

Graphic by Joanne Barrett

(Source: kittiezandtittiez)

crookednose:

minimum wage doesn’t even TOUCH a living wage, racism and sexism are alive and well, children are killed in schools on a regular basis, those who make it to college end up with hundreds of thousands in debt, our basic rights are being stripped from us daily, and adults actually believe that SELFIES are the cause for this generation’s demise

jackscarab:

Lucy and Sophie Say Goodbyea newspaper comic from the very early 1900s, wherein two women (clearly in at least a Boston marriage) repeatedly take a very long time to part company, regardless of their surroundings.

Because why not?

1. Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.

2. Presence is always better than distance.

There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.

It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.

3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.

It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.

Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.

4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.

This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.

A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.

5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.

For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.

It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?

Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.

6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.

“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”

When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.

Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.

7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.

Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.

8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.

This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.

Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.

9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …

In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:

"Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.

There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.

10. … Doesn’t kill you.

Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.

It also may not.

In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.

-

Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma” (via lepetitmortpourmoi)

I agree with virtually all of this.  I agree with it SO HARD.

Especially the bit about different types of friends being helpful in different kinds of ways.

The only quibble I have is personal, not categorical: I personally do often need/want space after something awful happens, because a great deal of my processing happens silently and happens when I am alone.  So the only thing I can really say is to emphasize that if someone says they want space, don’t take that as a challenge, just respect it and check in regularly after that.

(via naamahdarling)

(Source: wow-united)

stardusttx:

grapewallofchina:

your life hasn’t been completed until you see giraffes fighting 

image

you’re welcome

i thought they were partying

Giraffe’s World! Giraffe’s World! Party tiiiime! Excelleeeent! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Wooo woooo!

Jul 8

People on Tumblr are far more likely to repost your thoughts if you pretend they came from someone else.

- Nikola Tesla

Jul 8

The Murietta False Flag

When I heard that Rick Perry was spinning conspiracy theories about the immigrant children in Murietta, claiming that Obama might be secretly encouraging illegal immigration as part of some master plan, I made a joke about it. I said that, if the right-wing loves conspiracy theories so much, we should flip it on them and start claiming that the whole immigrant children in Murietta event was a "false flag" operation where none of those children were real illegal immigrants and it had all been planned by the Republicans to advance their own agenda.

But then I found out that my joke was literally true.

It turns out that those children are covered by a human trafficking law, initiated by Republicans in 2002 and reauthorized by President George W. Bush in 2008, which requires America to accept all immigrant children who turn themselves in at the border. So they aren’t illegal immigrants at all. And it they are here because of a Republican initiative. And now the Republicans are shouting and waving their fists, outraged that President Obama enforces a law that the Republicans created while pretending that it’s all Obama’s fault. Sounds like a "false flag" operation to me.

Jul 3

prokopetz:

delicately-interconnected:

femalesupremacist:

wakeupslaves:

17 Ignorant Questions That Can Be considered as a Racial Attack! That Black People Are Tired Of Hearing

Although many people like to perpetuate the idea that we live in a post-racial world or one that is now interconnected, most are still relatively ignorant when it comes to dealing with Black people. Because of a lack of day-to-day experiences with Black people, negative exposure in the media, and old mindsets, many stereotypes still persist today.

Here are some questions that Black people are sick and tired of hearing:

I honestly never understood the “black people like fried chicken and watermelon” stereotype

because I mean honestly

who doesn’t

I’m pale as shit and I could eat that every day

don’t act like you wouldn’t

I may be ignorant (not American) but isn’t the chicken thing a crappy dig at some of the sort of traditionalish food African American families eat?

It’s a class thing.

In a nutshell, America used to be a hell of a lot more classist than it is today - not that American classism is a thing of the past, mind; it just doesn’t have quite as much pop culture currency as it once did - and certain foods were heavily stigmatised for their association with lower income folks. Fried chicken is one of the major ones.

As openly classist sentiment has gradually diminished over the years, many of the hateful stereotypes formerly associated with “low class” (meaning lower income) folks have sort of glommed onto black folks and mutated into racist stereotypes instead. Consequently, they’re pretty much incomprehensible unless you’re aware of the history behind them.

And if you need further detail on how racist the watermelon stereotype is, here’s an article on the song with the most racist title in American history and yet it’s still the traditional music played by ice cream trucks: Recall That Ice Cream Truck Song? We Have Unpleasant News For You